Some pet peeves...

Usually I have a pretty high threshold as far as what it takes to annoy me...but there are a couple of things that really goad me:

1. Complaining about the movie in the movie theater. I saw the movie "27 Dresses" last night, and it was not very awesome...but cute in its own very formulaic, predictable way. And let me tell you, I was reminded of the movie's poverty of creativity every five minutes by the woman two seats down from me. My favorite comment was "if this movie doesn't end now I'm going to kill myself." It was so distracting and nearly ruined the movie for me. I don't even mind if people talk in the theater because I realize that watching a movie with a couple hundred other people is kind of a community experience. But for the love of all that is good, please don't mutter sarcastic comments while other people are trying to enjoy the movie! If you hate a movie that much, just get up and leave.

2. Honking at cautious drivers who are impeding one's own reckless driving. No, I am not referring to all the times that drivers honk at me when we disagree over whether I have enough room to make a left hand turn on the yield green light. (Let's say my overly hesitant behavior frequently causes quite a line at the light...oops.) But a few days ago I observed a car slowly backing up out of a parking spot at Kroger, cautiously looking both ways to check for cars. As he was doing this, another car approached him at rapid speed (fast for a parking lot, anyway). Naturally, the careful driver was looking in the other direction checking for traffic and continued to back out slowly. Even though the fast driver could have easily waited, he veered around the reversing car and honked his horn! Really. That is so rude. It does gall me a bit that some folks think that their time is so important that other people should not dare to get in the way.

3. People saying "no offense" before insulting another person. An example: "No offense...but if I were as tall as you I wouldn't wear high heels." Do these folks think that by saying "no offense" that absolves them of the guilt of their mean comments? Or that the recipient of the remark has no right to be offended? Equally annoying...saying "no offense" after an insult as a substitution for an apology. Example: "I would love to be taller, but NEVER as tall as you...no offense." According to my sister what the person REALLY means is, "I know that what I just said is incredibly insulting, but instead of apologizing for being such a bitch, I'm just going to say, 'no offense.' "

4. Misuse of the word "facetious" in conversation. It's that five dollar word that everyone learned in high school to impress their friends, and they still think that saying it makes them sound smart. The problem is that most people, even folks with graduate degrees, use the work incorrectly. Let's review. The correct definition of facetious, per the Merriam-Webster dictionary is: "joking or jesting, often inappropriately." Example: At Aunt Myrtle's funeral, Tom remarked facetiously that the deceased lady "looked smokin' in that red dress." However, the usage has been perverted to mean "witty, sarcastic, or a fancy way to say, 'I was just kidding.'" Example: "After Christina joked that she was going to drop out of college and become a trapeze artist, she laughed and said, 'I'm totally being facetious.'" I hear this usage more often than the correct usage. Now often times, people say "I'm just being facetious..." and they have actually made a facetious remark. However, in most cases this correct usage is tragically serendipitous, as the person's intended meaning is incorrect. It is better to have a vocabulary entirely devoid of "big words" than to habitually misuse them.

5. One from Sarah, my roommate: When people can see that you are studying and remark, "I know you are studying, but I have tell you this..." I commit this offense once a day. Just shows you that having pet peeves does not exempt you from annoying other people!